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I’ll never forget the first time I came down the stairs all dressed up to see my baby with his bottle, ready to be put to bed by someone else. But now I know how important my personal time is to keep me sane.A good mum is a happy mum – never feel guilty about wanting time to be you.In our household ‘baggage’ is considered a swear word.‘Baggage’ implies a disadvantage; something bulky and extra, weighing you down. However, growing up in a society that sees single motherhood as a one way ticket to loneliness, poverty and the benefits system, I see where the ‘b’ word has come from.Traditionally men view the introduction of children to be a big step.When you have talked about exclusivity and are both sure you share the same vision for the future of your relationship, then you can introduce the kids.Just because you fancy a date doesn’t mean you are looking for someone to fill a void.Also, for anyone dating a single parent, we aren’t necessarily looking for an immediate co-parent, we are looking for a date – those are two very different things.
Which leads on to…It’s so easy to fall into the trap of believing you have to explain how you came to be a single parent.
In the early stages of dating, that’s really none of anyone’s business. Know anyone you meet will be lucky to get such a fabulous two, three or however-many-it-might-be-for-one deal.
You know your child is the best person ever so why assume another person will feel any different?
I’m happy to confirm that my son has positively transformed my life in so many ways, he’s the most wonderful and perfectly-timed gift I could have wished for.
Plus, having a child helps you put things in perspective; I’m ten times more confident and capable now.
But it’s taken me a while and a lot of bad dates to get here. When I first returned to dating, I didn’t mention my son on my online dating profiles, or when I met men in real life.