Dating a chinese american man
But like most white Americans who still represent the nation’s majority demographic, he also rarely thinks about his skin color—a privilege that minorities in this country don’t have. It doesn’t matter how Americanized I am, people will always see me as a Korean American.
The reality is, I can never forget the color of my skin, and that’s why people of color think and talk and wrestle more with racial topics.
Nowhere in that interview did I hear her talk about being equally yoked or seeking commitment, mutual respect and trust, sacrificial love, and open communication.
Instead, she focused on skin color, sociology, and how it made her feel about herself. In the United States, it’s been only a few decades since the Supreme Court overturned laws banning interracial marriage in some states.
Then I started wondering, ‘What if other people think the same about us?
’” Nowhere are racial stereotypes more prominent than in the online dating world.
From the pit of my gut came complex feelings of irritation, fear, and ... I traced those feelings back to when I first arrived in the United States as a teenage immigrant.
I remember my Asian American friends warning me to watch out for boys with an “Asian fetish”—an ugly term for a non-Asian man who’s attracted to Asian females, presumably due to stereotypes.
That column by the Latino guy who broke up with his white girlfriend describes his internal angst with such clarity: “How did we get here? How do I love as a brown body in the world in a way that makes everybody happy?
You’re the least submissive and most stubborn person I know!
” When I try to discuss more complex racial issues, he gets uncomfortable, and I get it: In today’s “woke” culture, a white, straight male can never say anything right, and that’s not good.
The way they said it—always with a disgusted scowl—seemed to suggest anyone who dates too many Asians is creepy and abnormal, akin to perverts who watch kinky dwarf porn in a dank basement.
When that’s your introduction to your own community’s feelings about non-Asian males pursuing Asian females, it leaves a negative impression that’s hard to scrub off. I remember a Korean American friend asking me one day, “Do you think I’m a self-hating Korean? ” She hesitated, then replied, “I’ve never really dated Asian men.
When I was dating a Jewish guy, I started noticing that there were a lot of couples like us: white or Jewish man, Asian woman.