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A guy must ask a girl’s dad first, then the guy must ask the girl, then the girl must say yes, then the couple can start seeing each other IN GROUPS (! If things go well for the first eight months or so, the couple may or may not be allowed to spend semi-unsupervised time together and possibly even (GASP! Once the young man has firmly established himself financially and is sufficiently godly, he can ask the girl to marry him. Both families, as well as lots of church members, must be involved in the entire process, from start to finish. There are so many variables in each relationship: the age of the couple, the spiritual maturity of the couple, whether or not both sets of parents are believers, how long the guy and girl have been a Christian, the ethnicity of the couple, and on and on.To take some variation of the practices above and arbitrarily slap them onto a relationship can actually end up harming the relationship.Obedience to Jesus is the filter through which every action must pass. Christians Pursue God’s Wisdom When it comes to dating, God’s wisdom is desperately needed.If we are committed to obeying Jesus, than that necessarily rules out dating unbelievers. There are so many issues which aren’t explicitly addressed by Scripture, and therefore require wisdom.
This doesn’t mean that they hang out exclusively in groups, or only in the context of their extended families.
Christians Pursue Community This principle applies to dating couples, just like it applies to every other Christian.
As Christians, we are part of God’s family, and we allow other believers to speak into our lives.
I want to suggest that we can make this whole dating thing a lot simpler and less confusing by simply holding fast to the clear, relatively few principles spelled out in Scripture. Christians Pursue Jesus Above All This is the overriding principle which must govern every relationship.
Loving Jesus first and foremost means seeking him above all else and obeying his commands above all else. Once this is set firmly in place for both individuals in the relationship, many of the other details will fall into place.
As the world’s ways are not God’s ways, it is essential that we search the Scriptures to know His will and gain understanding of how to live as one in marriage.