Being a young widow and dating
Surviving the loss of the love of your life is the hardest thing you will ever have to do.These daily challenges will help take your mind off of your new "aloneness."Don't rush into anything.Again, this isn't about replacing anyone or denying their memories - but it is about giving each love in your life their own space.Eva Ibbotsen writes ''you cannot stop the birds of sorrow from flying overhead, but you can stop them nesting in your hair.'' This is a great mindset for anyone dipping a toe in the widow dating pool: whilst you can't stop grief and sadness paying a visit, it is up to you how long you let them stay.As the relationship ended because of a death, we can feel that it would never have otherwise ended.In that sense, it can hold an ‘eternal’ quality in our hearts and minds, with our dead partner being elevated to the position of a ‘martyr’.Responsibilities that once were your husband's are now yours. After all, before both of you handled all of the things that it takes to keep a household together - now it is up to you. Take pride in being able to handle these responsibilities; look at them as a challenge. There is no time line and we are all different when it comes to healing our hearts.
Be sure to let your partner specify how they want to remember or honor their lost spouse, and tell your new partner how you like to pay respects to yours. If you are to survive as a widow your spirit has to heal and find its way in this new existence. They say time heals; I feel that time leads to a form of acceptance when it comes to my new "aloneness."Everywhere you look you will see memories of "us." You will realize that it is hard to be home without him and even harder to be away from home.I call this new existence my "aloneness." As you deal with gut wrenching waves of emotion you also have to deal with the everyday tasks of living. Realize that there is no time line when it comes to healing your spirit. You will be fine one minute and filled with sorrow, sadness, and tears the next minute. It is still your home and you will eventually find comfort there; it will be a place that you need to be in because it is still a place of "us."Your responsibilities will at times overwhelm you.It's undoubtedly a sensitive topic, but a detailed conversation early in your relationship can save later pain.Undertaking in widow or widower dating does come with its own special requirements and considerations, but don't let this put you off.
Dating a widower or widow can oftentimes require extra sensitivity.